France so far...

I find the need to write about this wonderful experience in my life. I know already, this being my second full day in Dax, France, that my life is about to change forever.

Let me start at the beginning with a little bit of doubt and sadness:

Scene: Monday, September 13, two days before leaving. I had to say goodbye to my mom tonight. Everything rushed up on us, with the trip to NY right before, me being a tad preoccupied with helping some friends, and then she had to go to bed so she could leave on a business trip on Tuesday. I think I was trying not to think about it. I was so enveloped in the world of french bureaucracy and paper work and un-helpfulness on the part of my contact that I pushed out of my mind the fact that I will, for once and for all, truly be leaving my parents behind. They have always been the constant in my life, for due to moving all over the continent, I learned to be able to let go of friends easily, because I can always make new ones. Family, well as you know, they are forever yours. It all hit me at one time; I was playing piano right before bed time, and I had the briliant idea to play the song my mom used to play for us on her guitar. "Turn Around" by Ed Ames (I think) She came in and said, word for word, "Stop it or I'll hit you!" She then kissed me on my cheek and said good night, I love you. Of course, at this point, I was blubbering like a fool, and went to her door, and knocked, and she opened and she was crying too. FML. I don't cry. Those of you who know me know this. We said goodbye. I walked away completely depressed and afraid to leave home. End Scene.

The next day, I said goodbye to one of my best friends, Garett, which sucked too. Dad says, "You don't have to worry about me pulling any emotional crap." Thanks pa.

The departure day, or D day as I like to call it, was really flustering. I, of course packed too much, and Dad and I were trying to figure out what the hell to do with all my damn clothes. This ends with us deciding, three bags? HA! no problem!! I can carry this one like this, and this like this and the other one I can roll!!
(bad lauren. bad bad lauren!!)
Then we are leaving the house, and I say goodbye to the puppy, who just comes out, licks my face and walks away. Thanks buddy. Love you too.
Then daddy and I grab lunch and head to the airport. Then we get there, check in and right there is security so we hug and say goodbye. I wasn't ready to say bye to him. It was so quick. So... I start crying again. I want to say, WAIT! I have plenty of time!! Wait please? But I don't, cause I'm a big girl dammit. SO i hug him again and despite himself, he isn't as unemotional as he would like to be or show. Which makes it worse. So we say a rushed goodbye. And I turn and leave. Of course in the security line, I am trying to not look crazy with tears running down my face, so I sniffle and angrily wipe those betraying tears off my face and say to myself, BUCK UP BUTTERCUP! YOU ARE GOING TO FRANCE!!

On the plane, I sat next to an awesome queen who bought me a rum and bought himself a gin and tonic, and we cheered to our new adventures. It was nice and gave me a little courage. Then I found out that the woman who sat behind me 's daughter is doing the same thing I am, but in Nancy Metz. Cool!

And then panic ensues. Traveling was a bitch. Once I got to Bordeaux, I found out that I could take a bus to the train station, easy peasy. But the luggage!! Gah. And of course at the train station, there are stairs. Lots of stairs. Bad lauren. Bad, bad lauren!!

But I made it. After sore muscles and lots of motzy (spelling?!) I did it. And i got to the hotel and slept for 14 hours. hahha.

And then on the 17th, I walked around Dax after I had my free breakfast at my hotel! (yay croissants!)

This is when I truly opened my eyes. I am in France. I am finally FINALLY doing what I have dreamed about doing for a long, long time. I am here, and I am getting complimented on my French, and I found out how to get a cell phone, I ordered food. I talked to strangers (sometimes, this IS an okay thing to do!) I drank lots of cheap wine. I was smiling and realizing this is amazing. This place will be my home. I am determined to push myself to not appear to be withdrawn and unfriendly when in fact I am just afraid of rejection. I will make it a point to go outside every single day and listen and watch and absorb all that I can, to open myself to these experiences. I may have too much baggage, but that's all right, because I can throw the useless things away, and eventually, my load will be a lot lighter and I will be able to acquire new things and experiences.

So lessons learned so far:
1. I absolutely love my parents, and am thankful for everything thing and every single opportunity they have given me. I am not ashamed to say that i am a mommas and a daddy's girl.
2. DO NOT OVER-PACK!!!
3. I am fully capable.
4. French bread is as good as it is said to be.

Until next time my friends.
Bisous!!